The Psalmist – “Teach me to do Your will…”

The will of God is something we hear about a lot as Christians.

We are constantly prompted to accept Gods will, seek for His will and have faith in whatever His will may be. But are we ready to ask to be taught how to follow Gods will?

The Psalmist did this (Psalm 143:10).

Teach me to do Your will…

 

I’ll be sincere this statement left me in awe. Never in my life have I ever asked God to teach me to do what He requires.

Teach – 1) impart knowledge to or instruct (someone) as to how to do something. 2) cause (someone) to learn to understand something by example or experience.

* Disclaimer – that second definition got me too lol

To even ask to be taught something it’s because first we have come to the realisation that somehow we lack proper understanding or are failing. Doing the will of God goes against all of human nature. How am I so sure? Simply because I know I have my own will, which often has its own plans and desires. Therefore what the Psalmist is doing here, seeking not to only do the will of God but how to do it correctly is, well… wise.

He does this because he doesn’t want to even fall short of doing things by Gods standards, and by his own – not even “accidently”. His hearts desire is truly to serve God. Not just in action, but internally. The one who decides to deprive themself of their own will for Gods, is the type of person who serves God inwardly before they do externally. Anyone can look like they’re serving God, but to hear Gods voice, to listen and choose to obey that is true servitude.

For over a month I’ve been meditating on the book of Psalms, and as I come to the end of it what better way  to document some of the many revelations God has given me than to share them here? I hope it blesses you all just as much as it has me, many of these verses gave me great experiences with God, they came at times when I needed those revelations the most.

Doing It Like A Queen – She was humble

She gave credit where credit was due

“(…) for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NKJV

For months I’ll be honest I’ve been raking my mind with this quality, trying to figure out how this relates to me and what God wanted me to speak about…

Humility is one of the most important characteristics in any servant of God. If you have the intention to go far, better yet to go until the end then humility is a necessity.

It’s not even about being able to take criticism or even show gratitude to others or God. Rather it’s the humility that derives from having a continuous and complete dependence on God, a humility where you acknowledge that alone you are incapable.

It’s when you don’t wait for situations to come and humble you, but rather you seek for ways and reasons to humble yourself before God delay. It’s an understanding that defies all sense of pride and destroys all self righteousness.

How? Because you continuously place your self in a position in which you remind yourself that any “good” or “admirable” thing in you comes from God, because prior to finding Him you had little to none of these “amazing” characteristics you now have… if not any.

Often those who struggle with humility are those who do not seek to humble themselves. It is my duty – for the sake of my own soul – to do this daily. To never lose the dependence I have on God.

Queen Esther understood the importance of having this quality, though she was athe Queen she did not depend on her status or position as the Kings wife to protect her (Read the book of Esther). Rather she depended solely on God when she exclaimed the infamous words “If I perish, I perish!” In other words whether she would rise out of the situation or die in it, wouldn’t be down to her own abilities. Her life was fully in the hands of God, she depended on Him.

“Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and fast for me; neither eat nor drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will fast likewise. And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!”
Esther 4:16 NKJV

Job 10:12

Human beings are made up of body, soul and spirit. Whereas our soul is linked to our heart, our spirit is linked to our minds.

Unlike what most people think God does not speak to us through our hearts, as the Word of God is neutralised by emotion. But rather He appeals to our intellect.

Therefore one of the most important things for any christian is to ensure that they have a sober mind. Yes it’s important that we keep our hearts clean, we have good eyes but all of these things first begin as thoughts in our mind which are then manifested as bad eyes etc.

When my spirit is well, know that my mind is also strong. As there is a clear and uninterrupted connection between me and God. As a consequence such things as mentioned above are unable to fester and grow, as they are a sign of a weak spirit. A weak connection with God.

When you meditate and delve into the Word of God, you notice one thing – that God has absolutely no pleasure in losing anyone. He’ll do whatever it takes to preserve the lives of those who are His and those He is calling to become one of His very own.

In saying this, He will do whatever it takes. Even if He has to allow us to cross the driest deserts, walk through the hottest furnace and cross the deepest storm. He doesn’t hesitate because He knows the end result will surpass all our expectations.

Gods care isn’t characterised by the “care” of this world. His care is often harsh. A rebuke, difficulties and a situation that feels as if it is tearing us apart. But in doing so He aims to lead us to Him, to humility and total dependence on Him, and with this care He is able to preserve our spirit.

In other words, He allows the difficulties to allow us to maintain having a strong and firm mind. To being fixed and focused on Him, and Him alone. As God speaks to us in our minds, His Spirit is able to connect with our spirit. It’s important we are always well in our minds because then and only then can, and will we be capable of maintaining a solid communion with Him.

You have granted me life and favor, And Your care has preserved my spirit. Job 10:12 NKJV

Doing It Like a Queen – Discernment

She had great wisdom to know how to handle any situation.
When I initially read this statement, a few things came to mind. We could easily speak about the way we deal with people… but as I thought deeper though all these things are equally important one thing did come to mind.

Knowing when to fight and when to wait .

Thinking deeply about Queen Esther and the decision she made she knew exactly how to do this. A bit of context on her story – Queen Esther found herself in a situation where she was physically speaking the only one who could save her people, and with this she took a massive step. She placed herself not only in a difficult situation, but the decision she made to confront the King about the planned massacre, if rejected would cost her her life (Read Esther).

We may never face a situation such as that of Queen Esther, but we too have our own battles and we must know how to judge each situation. When it is the time to go before God in purpose and fight for what we want, and when it’s a moment of humility and we must trust in our God.

Each situation brings about different requirements of how it should be dealt with, and we have to have wisdom to know what each situation is demanding from us.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is fight and do purposes of faith, to try to gain what we want with our own strength in hope that we will successfully “shake Gods throne” and make sense of what we are being faced with. At times it’s easier to recite Bible verses, and believe that “this fight is the Lords…” when in truth the situation requires an act of faith.

“Okay, I get it Peniel, but how do I know what to do?” Simple, seek Gods guidance. Ask Him what He would have you do in that situation. If necessary He will inspire you with a purpose of faith, or He will encourage you to invest in other things and persevere in faith or He may even be silent. Baring in mind His silence isn’t a free pass for us to just do what we think is best. In those moments of silence continue to seek, and He will guide your every step – How? Through His Word of course. What has He been saying to you recently? What is the Word He has been allowing to play in your mind? That’s what He wants you to focus on.

You must understand that If now is a moment to allow God to act, this does not mean you are not in faith or even not revolted. It just means that that is what God requires from you in this moment. It’s so important we get this right, because getting this wrong can lead to frustration, anxiety and even malice towards God.

One of the hardest things to do when you’re far from God is to posses the ability to discern – to truly understand what He wants you to do. There will be times in life where you will need to distance yourself from everything and everyone, cancel out everyone’s opinions and stop to listen to what God is saying. That separation from everything that distracts you, and takes away from what God is showing you is at times necessary. The only way to be able to discern what God expects of us in different situations is when we are close to Him. The closer we are, the clearer His voice is and the more we discern when He is speaking.

Seek for Gods direction in everything, and He will show you what you must do in every moment in your life. You’ll hear Him loud and clear. Until next time …

Wait in faith. Part 4

Caleb waited.

45 years had passed but his spirit was still the same, he still had the same hunger, drive and determination to serve God. And mind you he didn’t serve God anyhow… he did so wholeheartedly.

His focus was not on the time it had taken for the promise to be fulfilled, he looked at the positives. He was still alive, therefore the promise would still be fulfilled.

I came into this year with goals, but all my goals were based off of 3 underlying ones, one of which being ‘to understand God better’ (I wanted to understand Him better the same way I would make the effort to understand a person). And today He is reminding me that as each day and week passes, I am (maybe just not in the way I expected to *sighs* lol). God is not a god of patterns, nor is He limited by our time. He doesn’t always “feel” the need to explain Himself, and when He doesn’t it doesn’t matter how much you ask, beg or complain…. He wont.

What God needs are real people, as in people who are truly for Him. Moments like this (as we see in Caleb’s example) are when He truly sees who’s in it for Him first or for themselves above all. What I’m trying to say, is right now whatever stage you are at in life is the moment where you need to trust, in fact you must (as its imperative if you want to get anywhere) that God is truly for you.

Ignore the voice of doubt, and act your faith the best way you can – in faith. You want to call Gods attention? Put Him in a position where He has to bless you?? Nothing better than to express this through your faith! There is no other way to send a 1st class message straight to heaven, than by using our faith.

You’ve just got to trust that this seemingly “long” way of doing things will turn out to have been the best way, that although you are ready to dive in and receive the clarity you need… waiting will have been the best decision you ever made!

God is not a giver, He’s a rewarder and I promise you if you wait in faith what you will receive will be greater than anything  you could of ever perceived.

26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. Luke 2:26 NKJV

13 But I really believe that I will see the Lord’s goodness before I die. Psalm 27:13

Why I look up.

I know it’s been a while and I apologise, I can’t say I have nothing to share … I just have to reform good habits.

So recently (well in the last year) I’ve developed a habit, doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with when I look up and I see a beautiful sky I stop everything and take a picture.

Today I was thinking and I understood why this new habit is quite amazing.

In a world where we’re always either looking down or straight ahead/on our level. Where everyone is focused and often stressed about momentaril things each and every time I look up I’m reminded that there’s more.

There’s so much more to life than problems, material things and even people. When I look up I’m reminded that past the sun, the clouds and the blue sky there is my God and everything that is eternal.

It reminds me to remain focused on eternity and therefore what matters most. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around me or even in my head – all I have to do is look up, and I’m reminded that whatever is down below is way lower than my God. And where He is whatever is happening inside or around me is nothing…. and that because of this I should remain focused on the things above, the things that are eternal and trust He will get me through the struggles down here as no situation lasts forever.

So if you ever see me looking up, you know why lol

I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord , who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who guards Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your guardian; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not harm you during the day, nor the moon during the night. The Lord shall protect you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from now and for evermore.

Psalms 121:1‭-‬8 MEV

Through His eyes…

2017.

You came into this year with extremely high expectations, goals set and ready to be achieved and you were in search of My greatness being revealed in your life. So far nothings gone to plan, and at times you get stressed, frustrated and afraid this year will end in the way it is right at this moment. Inside you’re frustrated, and 10 different thoughts and feelings are running through you and causing havoc inside of you.

I get it. I know you don’t think I do and you struggle to believe that I do but… I get it. Like any normal human being you had plans, and those plans aren’t being fulfilled in the way you imagined … and that can be frustrating. But, what I don’t want you to do is lose sight of a much bigger picture.

I have chosen you, even though right at this moment in time you may not feel as if I have. But I have. What I have chosen you for, the plans I have for you … you need to understand are a lot bigger than your feelings, emotions and what you can physically see at this moment in time. I know right now you may even feel like what I’m asking of you is too much for you, but I will anyways…….

Ignore your emotions. Every feeling running through your body, every thought that wants to contradict My word and promises to you, and focus on Me! Take My Word and make it your foundation… when doubts, fears, insecurities and negative thoughts come to knock you down and cause frustration focus on Me.

I repeat… Focus on ME. Not the problem, the situation or even those around you. Take whatever strength and energy you have left and invest that into Me. I promise you’ll see exactly what I will do… why? Because I am with you!

I chose you, from the beginning I labelled you as Mine and even though right now things may seem tough and deciding to believe may feel pointless… Ignore your feelings and focus on what you know! Because I know, that we both know, that you know… I’ve got you.

Remember: I am already ahead of this situation. You are in the midst of the battle, and I am on the other side with your blessing waiting for you to persevere until you reach your victory. Don’t you dare forget that every time it seemed like things were getting harder in your life was just before a GREAT blessing! See you on the other side.

The Holy Spirit and Me – The Direction Of The Holy Spirit

One thing:

always follow the direction of the Holy Spirit, I’m learning this now.

I know I haven’t posted in a while, and I do apologise I’ve been working on balance and I’m back now for good (lool) 🙂 ! In the last month and a bit of 2015 so far A LOT has happened. I wish I could go in detail but not just yet… but I promise I will soon.

What is the direction of the Holy Spirit?? This is often when we have our hearts maybe set on something, or we think we’re about to receive something we’ve been waiting for for ages… or in more simpler terms when we have everything “mapped out” and then God comes along and says those famous words “No, go this way instead.” It can be very painful and hard to accept, but yesterday I really surprised myself when placed in a similar situation.

I was close so so close, but then the direction of the Holy Spirit changed, I’ve been waiting to be this close for God knows how long! Then when the direction changes, it can be painful. But, here comes the best part whilst I stood there being told why… I was smiling. Smiling?? Yes, me Peniel Henry the often very emotional individual who usually cries and bugs God about it whilst questioning his choice of actions and sudden change of direction. Even now I’m still waiting for me to cry (lool), I’m wondering if it hasn’t hit me yet or something (lool)!

But, this is when we see how much God loves me. Giving me the opportunity to sharpen myself, to grow more and focus on me. Not just that but to cause me to really really trust him.  I thought trusting God would get easier as time went by…. I was wrong.

The direction of the Holy Spirit is best, we may not always know or understand the sudden change in direction. But, this is also a  true test of a persons character. If I had cried and become emotional because I wasn’t getting what I wanted in my time but had to wait, trust me I would be very very very far from my goal. But, when we choose to trust, it also shows our character … who knows maybe next week, tomorrow, Friday, Sunday… (dare I say it) next year I may receive the answer I’ve longed for for so long. However, however long it takes I will be here trusting God.

Ohh and do you know what the funniest thing is?? This temporary change of direction hasn’t made me further away from my vision or goals… but closer. In fact closer than before. Infact its brought me closer to my God!!

Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty (…)He wounds, but his hands make whole. 

Job 5:18 NKJV/NLT

To be continued….

Inner Healing

Broken. Lonely. Fake. Depressed. Confused. Cries herself to sleep. Low Self Esteem. Angry. Hatred. Insecure. Useless.

These are only some of the words that described me. But  noone knew about it, I hid it very well, behind the smiles, the laughter, my appearance. Yet little did anyone know that I, I hated myself, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, I cried myself to sleep, I suffocated in my own anger, I drowned in my own feelings and emotions.

To me this was my life, this was how life was, how my life was going to be. I was a lost cause. But someone cared. Someone was patient with me, someone took their time with me. My change wasn’t over night it was a process, to say the least, but I made it I did it.

This Sunday there will be an event at you local UCKG, there you will learn how to gain this inner healing  or  more how this process begins. Feel free to contact me, If you look close  enough on the blog there is a link at the top that says “contact me”.

Even realising that these words identified me and who I was was very painful, but the moment  I realised there could be a total transformation… I went for it. Now you go for it.

The Box and Low Self Esteem

She looks in the mirror and a monster stares right back at her. As quickly as she dared to look she looks away, feeling ugly, feeling a surge of frustration.
Why am I not like the rest of them?
Why am I not pretty? Funny? Likeable?
The same questions as usual bounce back and forth inside of her mind.

She creates comparisons between herself and others  she wants to be just like them and it angers her! She doesn’t understand why they are so perfect and she .. well she’s just her. She judges herself, she has no value in herself, she feels out of place In her own skin.
Overcome by sadness, she even contemplates taking her life… “Would anyone miss me?”
One day she receives the greatest idea! She decides to starve herself. Her insecurities have led her to believe she needs to be perfect, so it begins..
First she misses breakfast, then breakfast turns into lunch and dinner too. She fights against the hunger because somewhere in her mind she believes she is helping herself.

But soon reality kicks in! She still feels pain, worthless, useless, ugly, empty, a prisoner to her thoughts, lost, limited, in a box.

This girl. She was me. Placed in a box by my own low self esteem I viewed myself In this way and  because of this for many many years I struggled to get out. I believed that I had to be perfect I had to be like everyone else… refusing to realise that I was me.. and no one else. This is why I chose the name of this blog to be perfectly imperfect because that is exactly who I am. Full of imperfections yet beautiful because of it!
After all imperfect is the new perfect! Don’t allow the thoughts to keep you prisoner, you weren’t made to be perfect you were made to be perfectly imperfect.